This morning I saw a post on FaceBook that torrentially took me back to a time in my life where the days were nightmares and the nights were never-ending. In 1989 my first-born son, Joshua, was diagnosed with JCML. (Juvenile Chronic Myelogenous Leukemia). It was an 8 month battle in which he and we, his family, experienced hell on earth and found ourselves digging deep into the fathoms of anger and hatred, faith and love.
During the last 21 years, I have traveled down many a road to find my peace and ability to live my life fully without my baby boy. I took a lot of wrong turns and made many mistakes during that process. Do I have regrets? I did. But thank God that through time I was able to realize that regrets are potholes in which we either sink into, leaving us stagnate on our journey, or we find ways to drive right over them, feeling the jolt but not letting it hamper the journey to our next destination.
Anyway, after I sat down, and held onto my love for Joshua with all my might, I had a good cry. Cleansing myself once again of the memories of horror and despair. Afterwards, I made a cup of tea and thought of every single blessing I have had and have now in my life. I was overcome with a feeling of joy and happiness as the sorrow dissipated.
During this “renewal” I realized that even during those 8 months and beyond, there were many blessings and good things that happened. This is what I have decided to concentrate on. I guess you could call it another chapter in my healing process (this process is life-long).
So, with this said, I would like to invite you along. I’ll share with you the good times, the blessings and the revelations. No sadness here. Joshua was a happy, loving child who embraced life. I’m hoping that what I share with you will help each of us do the same.