In the past couple of weeks, that “C” word has entered my life more than once. Once to the good and the other to the not sure yet. It’s strange how one word can have such an effect on a person. Physically and emotionally. You hear it and then immediately your body responds. Even after all these years of healing and finding ways to cope, I find that a headache or that ill feeling in the pit of your stomach can totally take over your body and block good feelings of any type to prevail. But – if you pay attention and really listen, they are there.
As I was sitting in a room at the hospital the other day with a dear friend waiting to hear test results, my body was in complete array. Part of it was scared to death and kicked high into defense mode, while the other was sure that everything would be OK. The part that was sure was my heart. Even as it was beating a mile a minute waiting to hear the results, I took a few moments and really felt it. I became totally aware of what was going on and how it felt. I got past the adrenaline and I could feel the peace in each beat. Deep within I knew that everything was going to be Ok and that her destiny was to be the amazing wife, mother and friend she is and has been for a long time to come.
I’m a firm believer that our thoughts and feelings dictate much of what happens in our lives. If we think positive thoughts, positive things will happen. That’s correct, except for one word, “think”. We can think all we want to. But it’s what we feel and what we believe that truly paves our paths. If we honestly believe and feel with every fiber of our being that bad things will happen, they will. But if we think they will, and our hearts say differently and we allow ourselves to become aware of that, good things will happen no matter what.
Today, another dear person in my life is undergoing tests as well. The results will not be known for a few days. My heart and prayers are with her continually. My thoughts have given way to the maybe I’m wrong thoughts, and as every human being does, I have switched over to defense mode and am ready to accept the worst and do all I can to help. But the worst isn’t always that. Even if the test results come back not so good, I do believe and feel whole heartedly that when it’s all over she will be healed and will be able to spend many, many more years sharing her life and love (and her amazing cookies) with her family and friends.
So go ahead, think anything you’d like. But please, take those moments, take those deep breaths and pay attention to your heart and those beliefs and feelings. You’ll be glad you did!!